My marriage was in bankruptcy

Here's what I did ❤️

I can remember it like it was yesterday…

My wife and I were on vacation at a beautiful resort in Mexico.

We were sitting on a balcony with a gentle breeze in our faces, overlooking a captivating ocean and swaying palm trees.

As the sun bid us farewell, painting the sky a vibrant orange, my wife turned to me and said - “I don’t feel like I’m a priority in your life anymore. It feels like you are never HERE with me but always drifting off thinking about your business. I miss the connection, the intimacy, the fun, the fire, and the passion we used to have.”

Yikes.

Not exactly what you want to hear from your wife.

But the worst part was that I knew she was right.

I had been so focused and obsessed with growing my business over the past year that I had completely neglected my queen.

And our relationship was suffering for it.

What had once been fun, passionate, intimate, and deeply connected was beginning to feel like a dull butter knife.

In all honesty, my marriage felt like it was on the verge of bankruptcy and I knew something had to change.

Because I refused to be one of those men that build a profitable business but burn everything else in his life to the ground in the process. Especially when it comes to my marriage with my queen.

This is the woman I LOVE most in this world. This is the woman who fills me with joy, passion, love, ecstasy, and power. This is the mother of our children. This is the woman I want to lift up, support, and make the most proud in the world.

Yet I had lost sight of that. So, instead of being an ASSET that powered me up every day my marriage had become a LIABILITY draining me and preventing me from showing up at my best.

There’s nothing worse than feeling like you are letting down your wife and failing to be the man in your marriage, is there?

At that moment I made a decision - I was going to send my wife a love note every single day for the next 4 weeks.

It wasn’t much. But I knew it was a start.

It was something I could do every single day no matter what because:

• It was entirely within my control

• It didn’t take longer than 5 minutes

• All I needed was my cell phone

Simply put - there was no room for excuses. I was either going to do it or not do it.

So, every morning for the next 4 weeks I pulled out my phone, recorded a quick voice note, and texted it to my wife telling her:

• Why I loved her

• Why I appreciated her or

• Why I honored her

In the beginning, it was simple and I hit on all the obvious things. But as weeks passed I had to dig deeper. I had to explore WHY I loved, appreciated, and honored my wife at levels I had NEVER touched before.

Then this funny thing started happening…

The fire in our relationship began growing again.

What had burned down to barely a simmer was once again ablaze.

We went from a place in which sex, intimacy, communication, and fun were only happening 1-2x per month to happening 2-3x per week.

Not only was it happening, but my wife and I were actually wanting and desiring one another in ways we had never experienced before.

That’s what I want for you, too.

This is why today I’m going to challenge you to send a love note to your wife every day for the next 4 weeks.

Every morning pull out your phone, open the text thread you have with your wife, and record a voice note telling her why you love her, appreciate her, and/or honor her.

Then report back in 4 weeks and let me know it went.

Cheers,

James

P.S. The daily love note is a staple of The Game of Power in Silverback. It’s one of the key actions men in Silverback do every single day as part of The Passionate Marriage Protocol™, and they get .5 points for doing so.

P.P.S. Every month I take on a limited number of entrepreneur dads into my Total Man Challenge where you get my 1:1 help to discover how to play the game called Silverback - a metric, point-based game that gives you access to the power, focus, and clarity needed to predictably explode your business, fitness, marriage and life. It'll be your most focused and productive quarter ever in business, fitness, marriage, and fatherhood...I guarantee it. If you’re interested, reply to this email with the word "SILVERBACK" and I'll get you all the details.